Thoughtless (#1) Review

Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens was...well...I don't even know how to describe what it was, I'm actually speechless (for once) because to me the story was That Good!  Fair warning...this will be a long one and you'll understand why once you read the book ;)

Kiera Allen  followed her boyfriend Denny, who was the love of her life, to Seattle for a new job.  She was happy and in love.  Denny's dream job unexpectedly took him to Arizona  for weeks and feeling lonely and confused by Denny's lack of attention she turned to her room mate and local rock star Kellan Kyle.  They have a sweet friendship and Kellan takes to looking after Kiera until things change after one night.

Kiera, a young college student reminded me so much of a typical girl who is not entirely sure of herself.  She was sweet, caring, and loving.  She was so in love with her boyfriend, Denny, that being away from him wasn't in her plans so she followed him to Seattle where he was starting as an intern for his "dream job"

"I know what you gave up for me by coming here - your family, your home.  I'm not blind, I know you miss it.  I just want to make sure that this is worth it for you?"  I placed my hand gently on his cheek "Don't.  Don't ever question that.  Of course I miss my family, miss them terribly.  But you are worth it, you're worth anything.  I love you.  I want to be where you are."

Kiera and Denny had a little time to settle into their new life in Seattle until he comes into the bar one day to tell Kiera about heading to Arizona for "a couple of months" to set up a new location for work.  Kiera's not happy about it but understands that he has no choice and has to do it.  So off he goes....

There love for each other was sweet and Denny...well...he was amazing!  BUT...he didn't do it for me because the relationship just seemed too easy, he was almost too sweet and understanding there didn't seem to be any passion between the two of them which I guess is why it's a good thing Kellan Kyle comes along ;)...ummm.... but of course bad for Denny

Kellan took to Kiera almost immediately and helped keep her busy and taken care of while Denny way gone.  He was a great friend and so sweet to Kiera by taking her places, making her laugh, or just hanging out with her so she wasn't alone.  Their friendship was very innocent until a day spent together where it was still innocent but yet intimate

"Don't be.  I'd rather hold a beautiful girl than be all bruised tomorrow." 

Kellan and Kiera had a special relationship.  They grew closer as did their affections towards each other like holding hands or cuddles on the couch.  I may not view it as completely innocent but for the most part it was until one night Denny drops a big one on Kiera and she tells him they're over.  That was when everything between Kellan and Kiera changed and let's just say ....ummm....WOW can I trade places with Kiera!?

"You want to talk about it?"  I paused. "No"  He glanced over at the empty wine bottle on the counter and up again, at the glass I was just finishing.  "You want some tequila?"

 As much as I'd love to share more of that scene I can't it's just too good to give away.

So things change over the course of a couple of weeks.....Denny comes back to Seattle and Kellan starts acting cold towards Kiera and even a little gun shy around Denny (which is understandable considering did kind of betray a guy he totally cares about).  But towards Kiera he is pretty cruel

"Denny leave you again?  I could find you another drinking buddy if you're...lonely?"  he asked wryly before grinning devilishly.  "Maybe Griffin this time?"

Low blow I know but he had his reasons and you'll eventually find them out.  Anyway....after this Kiera tells Kellan he was the biggest mistake of her life and wishes he would go.  So.....he decides he is done, can't do it anymore and decides to leave Seattle

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've been cold, but I can't stay, Kiera.  I can't watch it anymore.  I need to leave..."  his voice trailed off in a whisper.

Now I'm not much of a coffee drinker...well not at all but let's just say after this I have a new appreciation for it ;)

So Kellan sticks around because he was "very convincingly persuaded" to stay.  Kiera knows she wants him in her life, he clearly wants any part of her he can get, whatever that may be so they start back with their little "friendship"

I got so frustrated with Kiera and yes even Kellan a few times but mostly Kiera because she was just....ugh I can't even say it without spoiling it.... Anyway I wanted to smack her upside the head, shake her, yell at her, and a bunch of other things to get her to wake up already!!!  Some things happen between Kellan and Kiera and they decide their "friendship" can be no more, well she told him numerous times before, but now he agrees lol...Men!  Anyway, KellanVERY heated fight in the middle of Pete's they're both drug in the back by Jenny to sort their problems.  A lot comes out as in A LOT!

"God, I love you, I need you.  Forgive me...stay with me.  Say you need me too...say you want me too.  Please...be mine."  He instantly stopped kissing me and froze, staring at me terrified again, like he finally just realized exactly what he had been saying.

So we learn that Kellan is in love, we find out for how long too (but you're going to have to read it to find out and trust me, you'll smile).  We also find out why Kellan is the way he is and let me warn you it's heartbreaking but it makes you understand why he's that way, not that it's right, but you still get it.  So they end up professing their love for each other but Kiera still has yet to make me happy with what she is actually doing to Denny (her boyfriend) and Kellan.

"I want to be with you the right way - in the open.  I want to walk into Pete's with you on my arm.  I want to kiss you every time I see you, no matter who's looking.  I want to make love to you without fear of someone finding out.  I want to fall asleep with you in my arms every night.  I don't want to feel guilty about something that makes me feel so...whole.  I'm sorry, Kiera, but I'm asking you to choose."

Can't say I don't blame Kellan at this point, he's poured his heart out and even heard her return the sentiment and yet he still feels as though he isn't good enough for her to be with him completely. (poor guy, if I was available you could call me Kiera - ummm...did I just say that out loud?)  So anyway, he tries leaving...yes again, and Kiera tries talking him into "more time" (which is just a joke now, the girl has known for a while now that she doesn't want to be with Denny in that way but she's too scared to commit to that choice)...yes again.  He doesn't fall for it, actually begs her not to ask him because he'll do what she asks.  In the middle of their heartbreaking goodbye Denny (Who was supposed to have been called into work) catches them in the middle of a passionate kiss.  What happens next is sad, especially for Kellan...not that sad but still sad!

FINALLY...finally, Denny finds out what has been going on under his nose...not that he didn't suspect it.  He breaks it off with Kiera and sweetly gives her the unanswered question of why she couldn't leave him and why that seemed to hurt him more

"I think in the end, you would have stayed with me, out of obligation...or maybe comfort.  Maybe I was safe to you, and you needed to feel that."  He rubbed my cheek again.  "I know how scared you get of the unknown.  To you...I must be kind of a security blanket."

Wow...totally what I figured out almost immediately after seeing the fire and passion between Kiera and Kellan.  Anyway, Denny moves back home to Australia.

Kellan ends up asking Kiera to move out.  He's hurt and needs space, he even asks "for a minute".  Kiera's sister Anna decided to move to Seattle and she gets an apartment for her and Kiera.  Months go by where Kiera is just existing...she's going to school, she's going to work but that's it.  Kellan isn't in her life anymore and she can't seem to get him off her mind, it's like she doesn't even want to.  Anna finally has enough and drags Kiera out of the apartment to "Show her something she needs to see".

Kiera and Kellan end up seeing each other and after what Anna wanted Kiera to see so badly (apparently Kellan had just been existing too).  They talk, finally talk...she doesn't feel the nerves and realizes she knows what she is telling him is from the bottom of her heart

"No.  I just...I just want you.  We're meant to be, Kellan.  We need each other."

FINALLY....Yippee!!

Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens is must read, I personally like the next book Effortless better but in order to understand everything you have to read Thoughless first.  I'm not a fan of how Kellan and Kiera started off but yet even I can't deny they were meant to be...that fire and passion...is like an addiction to watch it all unfold.  These Characters will pull you in so deep that you'll find yourself questioning if you're a part of their actual story or what.  I normally do not emotionally...yes emotionally...connect with Characters like I did with Kiera and Kellan.  My feelings for these characters are boarder line sick...I mean I'm a fan of a fictional characters fan page on facebook because I can't get enough of him lol.

Anyway, definitely pick up Thoughtless you won't be disappointed!

Happy Reading!